It's okay to feel stuck.

For the past couple of months, I've felt so stuck. Stuck to my job. Stuck living at home. Stuck being single. Stuck without children. Stuck struggling with my anxiety, fears, and bothers alone. And you know what? That's okay.

One thing I learned this year is that being stuck can be good. It gives you time to pause and reflect and see if your life is going the way you want it to. Being stuck is almost like a pause to let you figure it out in some ways. Yeah, time keeps moving. Yeah, I do the same things every week for right now. Does it always have to be that way? No. It gives me time to think about where I want to go and what I want to do while I do all those things.

I'm not in a relationship or even close to having children, but that doesn't mean it won't happen. I work and hardly have time to see people, but that doesn't mean that can't change. Yeah, I'm living with my family now, but that doesn't mean I will forever. Just because I'm stuck now doesn't mean that can't change a year, a week, or even a month from now.

How you feel about being stuck is all about perspective and what you're willing to do to change it. Right now, I'm stuck with where my life is and honestly, part of the time, I'm not okay with it. It can suck. And it can suck bad. The times I am okay with it, I try to be thankful for what I do have and how I plan on getting myself un-stuck. I know in the grander scheme of things, God has a bigger plan for me that I can't see quite yet. Being stuck can be a bad thing, but only if it's made out to be so.

Isaiah 41:10:      So do not fear, for I and with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

-Kristina

Owning a Dog in College: Why it was the Right Move for Me.

As many of you may or may not know. I have a dog and I can't imagine how my life would be if she wasn't here. When I first got her,  I got a lot of grief from just about everyone. "You're only in college." "Where will you find the time and responsibility to take care of her?" "Won't that take you away from regular college life?" are just some of the comments people would say to me when I first got Addie. I ignored every single one of them. And I'm so glad that I did.

Before I got Addie, I was in just about the darkest place that I've ever been in my life. I just moved 4 hours away from my family and the dogs that I already had. I wasn't making very many friends and I could see myself going into 'self-destruct' mode. I was freaking out, frantically searching the internet for any type of home therapies, work-out, or distractions... Anything. Then, I stumbled upon the benefits of a 'therapy dog.'

The more I read about how a dog can help people with anxiety and depression, the more I got into searching for a new dog. After a few weeks of searching, I found her. I found my then 3-month-old puppy in a town an hour away. I spoke to the breeder and picked her up a few days later.

The first few months of having her was tough because she wasn't used to being away from her litter mates and I wasn't used to taking care of something so dependent on me all by myself, but I digress. Even the first few months of struggling with her there was therapy to me and I started noticing a significant difference in my mindset after the first two weeks of her being there. A month after getting her, one of my friends committed suicide and I had no one. Except Addie. And she was phenomenal at knowing what I needed.

When I bought her, I knew it would be a challenge. I knew it could get expensive. I knew it would be worth it. For me and for her. I cared for her. She cared for me. I knew I was responsible enough to care for her. I knew I had enough money to care for both of us. It was a bit of a struggle juggling work and school with my new puppy, but I made it work because not only did I need it and deserve it, she did too.

After a year of having her, with the help of yoga as well, my depression and anxiety was significantly better. All of those people who gave me so much grief for getting her came up to me again. "She is such a great dog. You did a good job." "I've noticed such a difference since you've gotten her. You seem much happier." "That dog has done you a world of good." ...You know, I knew she would.

After almost three years of having Addie, the progression has continued. I love that dog as if she was my own flesh and blood. She's the first thing and the last thing I make sure is okay every single day. Taking care of her and letting her care for me has nurtured my mind and soul in a way that I can't even describe.

Even now, people will sometimes give me grief for getting my dog when I did. I know that getting any animal in college is not the right move for people. Getting a dog young is not for everyone and not every person or animal has quite the same success that Addie and I have had, but it can be done. I know getting her was the right move. I'm a much better person with her here. I'm a much happier and healthier person with her here.

Please don't give people grief if they decided to get pets in college. It may just be the best thing for them. I know it was for me.

What kind of pets do you guys have?

Sincerely,

       Kristina

The End Goal for My Career

This is something that I've been thinking about for a long time and is something that I've changed my mind about probably a million times. When I was little the answers went along the lines of doctor and veterinarian and back then, I really wasn't far off from what it is now.

I always knew that I wanted to go into health care of some kind whether it be people or animals. I have jumped from profession to profession, college to college before I actually figured out what I really wanted to do. My majors went from Nursing to Occupational Therapy to Undecided to finally landing on Massage Therapy. Funny thing is, that isn't my end goal. My dream profession would be... Wait for it...

Massage Therapy, Doula, and a Midwife.

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With Massage Therapy, the profession is build your own schedule. It's something that I love to do because I know it helps people. It's something that I can work with and can open doors to being a Doula and Midwife.

With being a Doula, I've known for years that this is something that I want to do. I love pregnancy. I love pregnant people. I love the birthing process. I know that this is something that I'm going to be in love with and enjoy doing for the rest of my life. I can't wait to dive in to get my certification.

With being a Midwife, this is the last thing I'll go to school for. I know for sure that I want to do the other two, but this one is sort of my pipe dream if I have the proper funds to do. Everything about pregnancy and birth from being a doula would apply here. I love everything to do with it.

I know that all of these things go hand in hand and I'm so happy they do. I love all aspects about all of these things. Health care and holistic professions is what I now know that I have to and want to do. Although I'm still in the beginning stages of my career path, I'm excited as to where I'm going to end up.

If you have any tips for me on any of these things, be sure to leave a comment below!


Kristina.

C U R R E N T L Y . . .

Hello everyone! April was way too busy for my own good. Lots of stresses come with moving, school, and work and finding free time and time to do homework is hard. I have to schedule both of those things for crying out loud. For any of you interested, here's what I've been up to and am currently doing for just about everything.

Making : Lots of DIY's. I moved home and my room doesn't feel like my room, so I'm always looking for more ways to spruce it up.

Drinking : A lot more of iced tea. Iced, unsweetened tea in the Spring and Summertime is my favorite.

Wanting : A bunny. Oh, how I would love to get a fluffy bunny.

Playing : With my puppy. She's the goofiest little thing.

Wishing : for a different cage set up for Quinn. The regular large-ish rodent cage just looks so tacky to me.

Enjoying : that I'll be done with college in December. Bring on graduation!

Waiting : for my month off of school. I'm in desperate need of a vacation.

Liking : being home. So much money has been saved just after this one month!

Loving : all of the blooming plants.

Marvelling : At how beautiful Iowa can be. Driving to and from home to Sioux Falls three days a week has really made me all the more appreciative of my home state.

Needing : An iced caramel macchiato. It's been way to long since I've had one and might be going through coffee withdrawals. 

Smelling : All of the wonderful flowers that are in bloom.

Thinking : About the weather. Spring weather is my favorite.

Knowing : That I need to get homework done. Come on, December.

Giggling : At customers. They've just been so nice and funny lately.

Feeling : Achy. I've been going to the doctor a lot lately, so we'll see what happens there

C U R R E N T L Y . . .

Here's to starting off the new year! Sorry I've been absent. Being a working person in college with other obligations gets the best of a person from time to time. But anywho. I've been seeing these " Currently " posts going around and absolutely love them, so here I am posting one myself. I will try to get one up at the beginning of each month, but I obviously can't make any promises with those curveballs life has been throwin'..

Making : goals and hopefully this year, I'll be better at sticking to them. I like to say I'll do things, but then other stuff comes up, attention is shifted, and the original goals go on the back burner for a little while. It's something I'm trying to improve on.

Wanting : to move home. I haven't really made a post on how living in Sioux Falls is going, but it's not going the way I hoped it would.

Needing : to buy groceries. My apartment has like, almost no food. I'm living off spaghetti and Pibb Xtra at the moment.

Thinking : about the future. I'm trying to figure out where I want to live and what I want to do after I graduate in about a year. My brain is on overload.

Feeling : Frantic, yet calm. There is so much going on in my life right now that my mind is like the energiser bunny, but I've also been doing yoga almost everyday to try to level out everything and it has seriously been helping when I need it to.

Smelling : Target's Autumn Harvest candle. It's my absolute favorite for the fall and winter time and stock up when it goes on sale. This candle needs to stay in my life.

Cooking : Healthier food. I've been wanting to be healthier for a while now and so far this year, I've been doing pretty good. Woo hoo!

Drinking : Lots of water, both regular and infused. This goes with that healthy thing I was talking about.

Reading : books for school. This quarter, I'm taking the most classes I have ever taken in the history of being in college. Reading too much for school burns me out for free reading.

Giggling : at Addie. That dog is just about the funniest little thing. She keeps my spirits up.

Wishing : for spring. Oh, how I love the springtime.

Enjoying : the quiet of my apartment. I'm moving back home with my family in March and with my siblings, Lord knows I won't get this much quiet till I move out again.

Wasting: way too much time watching CSI: Miami on Netflix.

Waiting : to do my homework. I have specific times to do it and don't like to do it any other time. My down time is very important.

Liking : Green peppers. I n e v e r liked them when I was younger but a few months ago, I tried them in a stir-fry dish my mom made and now I can't get enough of them.

Loving : Better Homes and Gardens magazine. That magazine is like the paper Pinterest for home decor and recipes. How could you not love it?

Knowing : that 2015 will be a pretty big year. I get to move home (which I'm obviously happy about), me and my family are finally going an a big family vacation which will result in my very first airplane ride, and my estimated graduation date is December. Be awaiting those posts, my friends.

What are you currently up to this year? I love to know how you guys are doing!

              Kristina

Pros and Cons of Being the Oldest Child

Being the oldest child has a lot of perks, but it also has a lot of downfalls. Having conversations with my friends who aren't the oldest don't seem to quite grasp what being the oldest child means. Here is my take on what being the oldest means.

Pros:

• You get ALL the new clothing! You have no one older than you to get hand-me-downs from.
• You get to embarrass them from memories of them being younger. You seriously remember most everything and they hate you for it.
• You get to help be the leader/teacher. Most older siblings tend to have more leadership skills and trust me, it's in the oldest's blood to be a bit more bossy.
• You have someone to blame things on. I got in trouble by myself for three years before my sister showed up. They always think the youngest at the time is always the angel so they deserve some of the blame too.
• You get to watch them grow. I love thinking back to when my brother and sister were cute little toddlers and when they used to be nice and super cute with all that adorable baby fat. My youngest sibling is now a freshman in high school and I still picture him as a two-year-old carrying around his Blue's Clue's notebook.
• They look up to you. It's a nice feeling to know that they will, do, or have looked up to you.

Cons:

• You automatically get blamed for everything. I don't know if this is true in every household, but every other oldest child I've asked will say the same thing. Parents go out and house isn't clean when they get back, they blame the oldest. You aren't just accountable for your actions while they're gone, but your siblings as well. Even if they are old enough to stay home by themselves. It's still your fault.
• You have to be more responsible. This one goes hand-in-hand with the "blamed for everything" one. The oldest is automatically presumed to be more responsible and because there's that pressure to be more responsible since your the oldest, it can get pretty stressful.
• They look up to you. This one has it's cons too. Knowing that someone is looking up to you is a lot of pressure. They are pretty much your shadow, so one mistake could cost them as well as yourself.

So there you have it. I love being the oldest, but at the same time, it's one of the most stressful positions you will ever be in. Are you the oldest? Youngest? Middle child? Let me know!

Much love, laughter, and happiness,

           Kristina

5 Positive Things for Mondays | September Week 1

Mondays. Everyone seems to hate Mondays. Something I want to and will. I will guys, I will. Is to write down 5 positive things on Mondays to start the week off right. The positive things will consist of anything that makes me happy or things I'm looking forward to. Personally, I absolutely love Mondays. Monday is my favorite day of the week. So I guess we better get to it.

1. My dog, Carter.

Seriously, I love this dog. He is my first dog and the biggest sweetheart. Not only do I love him unconditionally, but today is his 13th birthday. Happy birthday, my beautiful boy. I love you.

2. My job. The new one.

Usually, my job kind of sucks. I work at a Hy-Vee in the gas station in my hometown before I move. A couple days ago while at work, I got a call from a Hy-Vee in Sioux Falls that I applied at so I could try to transfer. The scheduled an interview for today, September 1st. 15 minutes later, they called back and told me that I didn't have to come for the interview and they were just going to go ahead and hire me. I'm so thankful for not having to travel and having a job for when I move.

3. Living at home.

When I decided to move home from being in Ames, I was scared for how it was gonna go. I was sacrificing a lot of my freedom and it made me uncomfortable to do so. Now that I've been home for 3 months, I've come to appreciate a lot of things back home such as free food, free rent and utilities, and being around my family, childhood friends, and my family pets. I'm going to miss it all when I leave again.

4. My job. The older one.

I've worked at Hy-Vee for 3 years. I've worked at 2 stores: my home store and Ames #1 C-Store. Right now, I'm back at my home store since I'm currently living back home. I'm loving seeing all the familiar faces of my managers, coworkers, and fellow town folk. I'm definitely soaking it all up.

5. My hometown.

Growing up, I hated how small my hometown was. Not even kidding, I grew up in a town of less than 10,000 people with surrounding towns with much less people. It was beyond boring in my middle school to high school years not having much to do besides go to Wal*Mart and driving around since we were obviously "too mature for the park." Now, after living and travelling to much bigger places, I've come to appreciate the small-ness, the safeness, and the friendliness and the citizens. Hospitality is becoming much harder to come by and I'm glad to be living in a place where most people still have it.

So there you have it. Take a moment to think about 5 positive things in your life. I challenge you. Start your week off right.

Much love, laughter, and happiness,

            Kristina.

I'm moving.

In case you all haven't heard, I'm moving. Again. I've been thinking about moving for about a year now because of how unhappy I am in my current town and school. To get myself out of this rut, I decided that it would best the best decision for me, so that's what I'm doing.

Yes. I am moving again, but not just once. I'm going to be moving twice in the next 5 months. On Saturday of this week, I'll be moving back to my small hometown back in NW Iowa to live with my parents and will hopefully be transferring back to my job that I had in high school. As much as it may suck that I chose to move back home, it'll be beneficial in ways of me saving and making money until I move again in October. Free room and board and free food for how many months will probably help a lot more than I'm imagining it will. I'm sure gonna miss my freedom and space.

In the beginning of October, I plan on moving to Sioux Falls, South Dakota to go to Globe University to become a massage therapist and I'm getting that super nervous/excited feeling. As of right now, I'm moving to both back home and to SoDak with it just being my dog, my hedgehog, and I and quite honestly, the only thing that I'm not gonna like about living with no roommate is the help and splitting of the bills. I've been through so much awkwardness and hassle with having a roommate that it'll be nice getting out on my own. Officially.

*Now time for a little disclaimer. Don't get my wrong, there were times where I liked having a roommate, but I'm the type of person where it's uncomfortable for me to go sit in the living or dining room with them or be cooking dinner at the same time as them because it feels like I'm intruding in on their space and time to be by themselves, so I stayed in my room with my animals most of the time until they went to sleep. Having a roommate may be for some people, just not completely the right thing for me.

All in all, this move is a pretty big deal. First time officially alone. First time paying bills without any other person worrying about them. First time moving alone and getting everything set up without any help. Hopefully, this will be my last time moving. Last time transferring. Last time switching my profession. But at the same time, it'll be my last few steps to officially growing up which is a bittersweet thing for me. I guess we'll see how it goes this time around. Fingers crossed.

Well wishes to all,
                       Kristina.

The college experience is yet to come..

Yesterday, my grandma and I drove to Boone so I could register for college classes. Me... Registering for college classes. Everything is starting to hit me like a ton of bricks. In August, I will be out of the house, living in college dorms, taking college classes, and living the college life. I will be officially be starting over from everything I've built my high school lofe up to be. I'll be back at square one. I'm gonna be quite frank here. I didn't even make a decision about where I was going to college until a week before graduation, just to give you a hint of how indecisive and informed I need to before actually making a decision but ANYWAY! The college I settled on was actually a partnership program between Des Moines Area Community College and Iowa State University. I take my classes at the DMACC Hunziker Center in Ames, but have the luxury of having an ISU ID as well as a DMACC ID. I'll be living in the ISU dorms, and will be able to get into all the buildings, clubs, things like that. It'll be cheaper and it'll make transitioning from high school to college a little bit easier, which is what I was looking for. Eventually, I'll be a full-time ISU student because that's what the APP program allows me to do. Pretty cool, huh? Community college classes with the university feel. Spent all of junior and senior year coming up with that, but don't be quick to judge. There's a lot of things you have to... or at least should think about before deciding on a college. Tuition for classes, meal plan, dorm fees, book fees, scholarships, financial aid, whether the college has the right feel, is right for you, size of campus, student to professor ratio, how many kids are on campus, etc. It's a big decision and you really do have a lot to think about. Another thing I had to think about as well was my family. Both sides are HUGE Iowa Hawkeye fans, and the Iowa State Cyclones are kind of their rivals. No, I didn't choose State over Iowa just to piss my family off. I chose State over Iowa because I didn't want to go to Iowa because my family expected me to and if i went to iowa, I'd never know if it was for them or me. I also chose Iowa State for it's beautiful campus, and because it felt right being there. When you know, you know. It's kinda like falling in love, but with college. I fell in love with Iowa State. It just clicked for me so when you're doing campus visits, try to find that feeling. I'm super duper happy with my decision and hope to have an awesome time on campus next school year. Maybs see you on campus(es)?

Of course I'm showing my support towards Cy and Iowa State! ... And DMACC above.

... My family would kill me if I didn't put Hurkey somewhere in the blog...